day 231

When your mother invites you to your molester's wedding

do not scream
do not carve forgiveness into your roots

When your mother tells your sister you are never fully there

do not tell her you've scrubbed every part of yourself clean everyday for the past 8 years
do not let her think it is nothing other than teen angst
do not swim through the glaciers in her stare to deliver a confession

do not stop her from enjoying the joining of two lovers
do not forget she has forgotten the way a honey moon glows

When your sister saves your life for the fifth time
do not hide in fear
do not shiver
do not let your backbone fall flat

do not forget you are not alone
you are not the only one to surrender to the poison of a coma
you are not the only one who wants to die a dreamer

When you realize that you have stopped changing the hers in your poems to hims
do not hang yourself amongst the other skeletons in your closet
do not stop yourself from telling your best friend that you love her
do not let the name of your past lovers leave a bad taste in your mouth
do not skin yourself alive
do not stop yourself from enjoying the joining of two lovers
do not apologize for being afraid
for being human

When your first boyfriend hits you for the first time
do not tremble

When your second boyfriend tells you your sex is not godly
do not pray

When your next boyfriend does not want to believe in your rape
do not explain
do not bother
do not ask him for salvation

When a boy makes a rape joke on your first date
do not scream
do not carve forgiveness into your roots
you are one hundred years of stretch and growth
You are Autumn
you are leave
you are thicker stems when you kiss the sun
you are heart filled of Giant Sequoia
you are capable of loving with the largest lungs
you are breath
you are human

When the girl of your dreams is sitting in your audience
be proud that you stopped changing the pronouns in your poems

When your sister's therapist already knows that you are broken
do not force yourself to tell her your whole story
do not force yourself to fight the demons in your throat
do not apologize for being afraid
for being human

you are not ready

When your mother invites you to your molester's wedding

do not scream
do not forget she has forgotten how a honey moon glows

do not hang yourself amongst the other skeletons in your closet

do not force yourself to tell her your whole story
do not force yourself to fight the demons in your throat

do not apologize for being afraid
for being human

you are not ready