day 330

so what if today isn't your birthday
declare it the first day of your life
no hand to hold
or pinky to surrender promise with
today is the first track on new mixtape
all scrr scrratch scrreeech and scream
we shout at the top of our lungs
forget we are summer love young
and punch love drunk
all the world at the tip of our knuckles
and all the angst in any face of threat
on my sixteenth birthday,
i shouted, fuck the free world,
i didn't know what it meant
i didn't care to find out
today i am thirty five days away from twenty
from september
all that autumn in my mouth
i sleep half with my head in my wall
and the other way falling off my bed
the dreamer in me must be on one hell of a drug
the boy i am in love with must not exist
on Sunday nights
on Sunday nights, I take lavender baths
filled with eight year old innocence
a bath tub filled with breasts
uneven curve and bounce
the smooth of skin
dead sea scrub and new life
bringing breath to water
learning to swim again today.
waking up
in a wave of awakening
revival
cleanse
deep breath
inhale
exhale
deep breath
deep sleep
declare today the first day of your life
every time you wake up
every time you learn how to breathe for the
first time.