Hello, tonight the Sports Center will be commentating the final round of our competitive Non-REM Sleep Cycle!
Please welcome our fellow world renowned professional sleepers, Jack and Sally!
As the referees check in with each other, our volunteers have made our competitors feel just at home. With pillows filled of melted clouds and mattresses of your mother's arms, we shall let the games commence!
Stage 1: Polysomnography, also known as "sleep reading"
Oh alright, Jack has gone into a state of weariness in just a matter of seconds. THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE WORLD'S RECORD. This just in... the officials have just informed us that Jack has just stolen the title of "quickest to knock out."
As Stage 2 creeps up, Sally has slowly fallen into a state of slumber at about 6 minutes and 04 seconds.
Stage 2: Jack and Sally's bodies will now prepare their bodies for deep sleep.
Although Jack has had the one up on Sally for a solid 6 minutes, Sally is winning back the show as her body enters complete relaxation. We suspect she is dreaming of having her cake and eating it, too. Jack is however, twitching and rustling in his sheets.
Sally skips Stage 3 as she quickly advances to Stage 4 as she is sleeping as solid as a pillow case filled with bricks.
Jack enters Stage 3. As you can see, his eyeballs are swimming in his skull.
As we anxiously wait to crown the biggest dreamer, here is a word from our sponsors!
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