day 22

TITLE "I just miss you, that's all"


There's no privacy here
no secrecy
or no time for me
to close my eyes
and feel what I want to feel
in my own sheets
with myself
being the only one who has slept here.

It feels good waking  up in the morning
and not having to say I love you
to someone I don't love anymore
This quote has hit some relevance to me lately
Somewhat of a deja vu

I do love you
I do not love what has become of this 

I just want to not feel guilty
when I tell you
I don't want you to use my phone
because I know you will look through my inbox
through my outbox
through my call log
through the conversation minutes
and over analyze
and judge
and make me feel upset
for only wanting to have

a friend.

That's what everyone wants,
isn't it?


We only ask questions
in fear of answers we don't know
but what if we already have all the answers we need
what if the truth I'm waiting for isn't the same as the truth you want
what if I do enough to keep these ties ribboned together
and gift wrapped for other lovers to open
what if I don't care anymore
or I care too much
what if I don't want this anymore
what if I didn't have the courage to publish this poem

but this is what my life has become


there is no secrecy in my life anymore.