day 33

It's wonderful to grow as an individual
Instead of wanting to grow with lovers
Something tells me that I want to go out and have drunken sob stories
But something else tells me to stay where I make homes
For distant lovers that just want to love me at a distance
He keeps distancing himself from me
Like the only heart beat I want to memorize is his
Like a song I want to learn
I just want to be the lover he needs
Because I do a horrible job at being the lover he wants
:(